31 Responses

  1. Shaun
    Shaun at |

    S.O.S. Need help!
    First off, I’m 27 and she’s 24. Here’s a quick run down on what has happened..
    We were together for 4 1/2 years, living together for 3 of those. 8 months ago I moved home to give us space, to try and make the relationship stronger. She begged me to move back In for the first 6 months, and I said “soon”. In February I said let’s do it. We were going to and then got into a fight. We spent all valentines week together and even a few days after.
    4 weeks ago she, in a text, told me she didn’t have the same feelings anymore. I of course freaked out. Texts, emails, messaging her new friends and family, you name it, I did it.
    2 weeks ago I saw her leave a bar with a guy. When I asked about him she said he was nothing and she was just giving him a ride somewhere.
    Well last night I saw them together again and sort of followed them back to her place. They noticed me and he confronted me. I was civil with him but definitely showed her that I was hurt.
    She emailed me today and said that it’s none of my business who she dates and to leave her alone.
    Why would she lie about this guy to me two weeks ago?
    And have I blew any chance of getting back with her?

    1. Tutz
      Tutz at |

      Just give her some space bro. Nothing wrong with contacting her from time to time but don’t butt into her business unless she allows you to by telling you what’s going on in her personal life. Listen to her and try not to give too much advice; girls just want to be understood and listened to. If she starts regretting some decisions she made then don’t rub it in her face and say I told you so but tell her that she did was she thought was right. And “if” you love her then you would take the time to consider what I said because at the end of the day girls just want to be understood and no offense but that’s probably something you didn’t give her at the past.

  2. Eric
    Eric at |

    My ex and I were on-and-off with each other for the better part of year, in hindsight I could tell she really did care about me and I didn’t reciprocate, and in knowing that I could say this is the worst I’ve ever felt. She did so much for me, so much so that it’s pretty pathetic that I didn’t reciprocate my feelings for her like I should’ve. I feel like I owe her so much, like a debt that has to be repaid, and I don’t think I can truly move on with my life unless I repay that debt.
    We started as friends in high school, we met in the beginning of my sophomore year and her freshman year, and we were introduced through a mutual friend. At the time, I didn’t think anything of it, I would see her occasionally throughout the day in the hallway and high five her (I know lame, but I did that with all my friends).
    She would eventually started “dating” one of my best friends, but it wouldn’t last. She came to me seeking help, and from there we would occasionally talk until the end of my junior, where we started really developing feelings for each other. That summer I wouldn’t really say we were together, but I did take her out on one date, I was scared, I was scared of messing it up and losing my chance with a great girl, but most of all losing a real good friend. So we that summer we decided that it would be best to just stay friends.
    ​Senior year started out really awkward for the both of us, we’d say hi to each other very awkwardly. It would be like that until October, the day of our school’s pep rally, we sat next to each other in the bleachers and did nothing but flirt with each other, and that night at the homecoming game we finally kissed and we were together, and it was great.
    I didn’t go to the homecoming dance because of financial issues that was the first disappointment. For the next 5 months she showed me nothing but love and I just threw back in her face and blew her off constantly. A few months into the relationship this mentality of that, “oh I’m in high school, this isn’t the time for a girlfriend” started to grow on me and I became an even bigger douche.
    During those first couple of months some major events happened like: my birthday, her birthday, Christmas, New Year, and Valentine’s Day. I always came up with an excuse as to why I couldn’t hang out with her and just writing this is making me feel like piece of garbage.
    We eventually broke up for the stupidest reason possible and it was all my fault, at the time I couldn’t have been happier because it was over, but now it’s only regret. From there we barely spoke and it was the worst because her friends were my friends too.
    I don’t how things happened but we started talking again, and I felt it, I felt this feeling, I wanted her back. So we ended up getting back together and it was much better than last time, but it would only last a fraction of the time, and it ended this time because I too lazy to send one text message.
    This time we promised each other to stay friends no matter what. Then came prom season around and I had no one to go with, so I told my friends that I wouldn’t end up going because of financial reasons and that I had no date. They tried their hardest to get me to go, but nothing. Then she came to me and asked me if I wanted to go, as friends. I said yes. This was less than a week before the actual event and everything happened so fast. Because it was on such short notice we didn’t end up matching, we got a lot of slack from both friends and family, but we thought it was pretty funny.
    Prom was, honestly, the best night of my life. We had so much fun together, I definitely felt an attraction that night. It was then that I realized that I had made a horrible mistake in not treating this girl right. At this point I had about 2 and ½ weeks left of high school, we had started talking less and less, the only thing we ever talked about is when I’m going to deliver the pictures that we took together at prom, and I realized I had to act quickly if I wanted this girl to be around. But I didn’t move quickly enough.
    It was graduation day and I was so happy, that night I invited her to a small party in hopes of officially getting back together with her. I realized that I had to treat this girl right because I knew she was special and that I had to cherish her, I had to cherish those fond memories of us together. It was around midnight and she had to go and I wasn’t going to let her walk home alone and I saw this as an opportunity to tell her how much I really cared. But I blew it.
    After I got back to the small get-together at my friend’s house, one my friends, who also happens to be one of her good friends told me that she was with someone else now. My heart sank. I didn’t want to believe it, not one bit. So a couple of days later I needed to hear it from her and asked if she was with someone now. My worst fears were confirmed that night. One of her friends had introduced her to guy, and that they were together. That was the worst night of my life. She told that she didn’t want to be kept waiting for something that wasn’t going to happen. I only replied with “I’m sorry for everything, truly.” Then she said “No worries, we are still friends”
    All I know is that I would do anything and give anything just for more chance, but I would do it right, but I know that’s the not going to happen because she is with him now and I feel like, because it was spontaneous that they are going to be together for a while, because I think it’s the spontaneous ones that last the longest. But am I crazy? Am I crazy for thinking that it’s not over between us at all? Am I crazy to think that there is still a chance?

  3. Winter
    Winter at |

    So here it is. My ex and I met at a party in 2011 and we rushed into it way too fast. In a few short months, her and I were already living together. The dilemma I had, wasn’t the living together, but the whole relationship part. I’ve never committed myself to another women that way before, so the pressure of “love” was really detrimental for me. Although I am in a relationship now, I really can’t get her off my mind. It could be because she challenged me like no other women had before.

    If there is any advice anyone can give me to at least make an effort into contacting her just as friends I would really appreciate it. I wish her the best and I can honestly say, I loved her.

    1. Uchihahunter11
      Uchihahunter11 at |

      That was really deep man, im really sorry to hear that

  4. Carson
    Carson at |

    So I broke up with my girlfriend in the last week of May, we dated for 9 months, and the split because I was going to college and she still had another year of high school, she also thought we hooked up too much, which will be an easy fix if we get back together. It’s been 4 months, We have talked a few times. but it wasn’t anything big. She has a new boyfriend, it’s only been 3 weeks I believe, so they are probably still in the honeymoon phase. What should I do? I’ve sent one first contact text, what do I want to keep saying and when do I know to move to each stage without building the common enemy?

  5. Navi
    Navi at |

    I was in relationship from last 3 years with my ex but we dont have any physical atachment few mounths ago i see her with a boy she sed he was nothing he is just his fraend but after few days it reapets again and her answer is same,
    so my question is why she is asking me lie about that boy and how i get her back?

  6. Juan
    Juan at |

    Happens to me. It was a very very bad place. its like you are getting crushed by heaven and earth to the point that you want to die. and then bitches can easily get a new guy its as if she have forgotten 7 years of us being together. I know that i have my mistakes and all, but I dont think I deserve to be treated like shit.

  7. Ice
    Ice at |

    I was with my ex girlfriend for 7 months, when we broke up we never stoped contacting each others and now she says she has a new boyfriend. When we meet up with her we still kiss but she says she cant get back with me, so what can i do now. Anyone to help me

  8. Josh
    Josh at |

    I was with my girlfriend For 5 Months. Before me she was dating this douchebag who was a complete asshole. After our perfect kind 5 month relationship she went back to him. We broke up over a misunderstanding she thought me and my friends were making fun of her at her cheer practice but we weren’t. She then got back with her old ex. He has already cheated on her twice and i was the one to tell her. Everyone knows they have a fake relationship going. He has just been an asshole to her and cheated on her and broke her heart twice. Yet she still stays with him. When me and her were dating she would always talk about how bad of a guy he was and how they broke up and she just despised him. But now shes back with him. Her friends said she just cant stand not having a boyfriend. Does that make her a complete hoe?

    1. Maravi Yoso
      Maravi Yoso at |

      Yes. Would you want to be with a girl with such poor taste on men?

  9. Ross
    Ross at |


    I was with my ex girlfriend for just over 9 years! I’m 29, she’s 25. She split up with me because she wasn’t happy anymore. After we broke up she told me she’ll never love anybody the way she loves me! We have a house a dog and relied on one and another for so long! After only a month apart she gets with another guy or a boy should I say. 20 years old and the complete opposite from me! She always complained how we missed out on our youth, envious of how her friends and their boyfriends were out partying all night and scared she missed out! I on the other hand couldn’t care less what others were up too! I love her so much and want her back but I know for that to happen she has to want to come back! Any ideas??

    1. Rounak
      Rounak at |

      just be in contact with her…nd the main thing is dnt say her that I lov u bla bla if she needs some help from u just do it call her share your feelings with her dnt show her that you want her once again just be as a friend nd the time comes she have to come back in your life nd atlast the girl will be yours.

    2. Maravi Yoso
      Maravi Yoso at |

      Be friendly and give her space. You are NOT going to make her come back. If that happens, it has to be her that wants it.

      1. Tisha
        Tisha at |

        My ex and I we’re together for 10 years. We have been broke up for a year now, he got himself a new girlfriend after 3 weeks yet he still wants me in his life. I want my relationship back very much so that I decided to try to be friends with him. He says he still cares about me and I’m not sure what to do. He has a trust issue with me because when we first got together I was pregnant with someone else’s kid and didn’t know. So when I found out, I thought it was his, she looked like him! I happened to have to get a DNA test a year and half later and found out it wasn’t his but he stayed….. I’m not sure what I can do to try to earn his trust back? Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do to get him back? I love him with all my heart, we made a great team.

  10. Aaron Long
    Aaron Long at |

    I met this girl at the end of October and by mid January we were dating. She broke up with me February 13 but still continued to hangout with me until mid April when she stopped talking or anything. She’s had a boyfriend since March 22 and right now wants nothing to do with me. Please help me figure out what to do?

  11. Jason
    Jason at |

    My names JASON my ex broke up with me 2 months ago and right when she did she asked if we can be friends I said yes and I kept txting her to come back to me I wrote her a lot of letters and now she blocks me on Facebook instagram and now I found out she has a new boyfriend and I asked for a second chance but she’s afraid that the same thing will happen again I said it won’t but she don’t belive me she also said she wants no contact with me I realy want my ex back she was perfect in every way I loved her I still love her what can I do to get her back

    1. Luke
      Luke at |

      Did you manage to get her back ?

  12. Sean
    Sean at |

    @ Jason

    It hurts, I know, but you have to accepy the situation and move on too.

    I was with my ex gf for a little over 3 years (lived together for 2 1/2 years). I went NC pretty early on after the breakup. She came back multiple times but still didn’t end up getting back together. She is now in a relationship with one of her roommates.

    I feel guilty for not working things out with her but I have accepted the current situation, she’s moved on and so am I.

    When I found out about her being with him, I politely asked her to stop texting me (she kept in touch with me). For me this was the final nail in the coffin.

    I also started dating again. The girl is cute and I am going to give her chance!

  13. joy
    joy at |

    I met this girl at the end of October and by mid January we were dating. She broke up with me February 13 but still continued to hangout with me until mid April when she stopped talking or anything. She’s had a boyfriend since March 22 and right now wants nothing to do with me. Please help me figure out what to do.

  14. Sam
    Sam at |

    I’ve been seeing more and more interaction between my ex and this new guy, on facebook. Is it wise to ask her who this guy is?


  15. GeeGee
    GeeGee at |

    I need help and don’t know what to do… Me and my ex fiancé have been together for 2 years and after a lot of ups and downs. She broke up with me. We even had a small situation where we had to go to court. All in all we have made up after court only for her to break up with me again. She had changed her number and I did not contact her at all for about a month until one day about a week ago she contacted me with her new number telling me how much she misses me and wants things to work. She wanted to see me so I drove to her place about 2 he away and we slept together etc. she told me she wants to date me and start all over. I agreed with her. The next day she went to work and came back and basically told me that she’s not comfortable with me and she needs me to leave. So I grabbed my things and left. Later she told me that she has been with someone from her job and that she basically bribed me for sex. But the things she said were so deep and she cried so much. She told me that this dude came to her at her job and outed his heart out so she wants to give it a chance and move forward. She’s saying she hates me and doesn’t want to communicate with me at all ever again. She said it was a big mistake etc. now I haven’t contacted her ever since. I noticed her listening to happy love songs about a man etc then I saw her listening to a sad love song right after on Pandora. What do I do ? Is she teally into him ? If so did I mess up my chances by constantly contacting her after she told me to leave and ask for this chance ? She said I’m so needy etc. Please help I need answers

  16. Nicholas
    Nicholas at |

    So….you’re telling me that the way to get an ex back is by being the crying shoulder to pick up the pieces if/when her current relationship ends? For one that makes me the fall back plan…not sure if that’s the kind of relationship I want. Second of all, you could end up friendzoned so whats the point in putting effort into building a “friendship”. Not only that, but the rational side of me thinks that her coming back to me in this manner may not even be real (a rebound onto me). The only thing real about getting an ex back is if she still wants you back somewhere in her heart…other than that the sad reality is that if they’re over you then they’re over you. Trust me I want my ex of 3 years back in my life, but she is the least interested in wanting me back so there’s not a whole lot that can be done other than to sulk and accept it no matter how much I want to change the situation. This is not to put down the thought of having your ex back, I know you’re here because you want to the safety of feeling like you can have them back but just realize that even if you follow this kind of advice and for a magical reason it works, keep in mind that there’s no guarantee that it’s real.

    Here is my cent of advice. Leave her alone for a while (possibly a year or years). If/when she breaks up, give her time to heal herself don’t just jump in. If you happen to be single and are still interested, then once you think she’s ready again, then you can go and start talking to her that way if she does want you, you can confidently believe she actually wants you because she has found a reason to be reattracted to not finding an easy fix for her pain like if you are taking her after a break up.

  17. Anon
    Anon at |

    hi Adrian, I’ve read a lot of your posts but I am still confuse about my situation. My ex and I were in a long distance relationship and broke up nov 2015, since then I did not talk to her for 3 months plus. The reason that we broke up is due to 1. Communication issues (she scolded me for almost anything and I lost patience trying to calm her down) 2. I repeated one semester in college and did not tell her about it. She found out about it near our 1 year of relationship, and she reacted very badly. She said that she can’t stand being lied to. 3. She kept mentioning that I screwed up our 1st year anniversary date, and her birthday date. We agreed to end in good terms. She slowly deleted me off social media (Unfollowed me on instagram on the first month, when I like her photo she blocked me. Unfriend me on facebook on the 2nd month). So 3 months has passed and I tried to talk to her, she sounded pissed off and said ahe was dating another guy. I did not know what to do at that point of time so I pleaded her to come back. She did not respond to my whatsapp. I’ve wrote a letter 1 month later and created a video collage of our photos when we were together. She did not reply as well. I then tried to use reverse physchology and told her on whatsapp in a positive tone that the letter didn’t matter anymore because someone helped me to move on and I’m going to date that girl. She blocked me on whatsapp. I’ve now been trying to post photos of myself looking positive, but Im dying and did not know what to do. how do I connect with her when she cut me off contact. Will she miss me? Will she see my post? Please help me I dont know what to do anymore.

    1. Maravi Yoso
      Maravi Yoso at |

      She hates you right now. Anything you try to get her attention will make her hate you more and more. Just do nothing.

  18. Shafeek
    Shafeek at |

    I have been with her4years.Then I left school in febrary 29 it is second last date of febrary.then again I met her in school at may she saw me and smile at me I smile at her.After15minutes I was finding her wen she is in her class she saw me Then she started to ignore me and again iam in no contact.I took mobile and put a coment on youtube and said averything that what I did when I met her in 19th May to breakup expert and he said she is giving u hot and cold give her45day of no contact45day sounds good he said.Again I will meet her at after four month.Will she come back to me.

  19. Jonah
    Jonah at |

    Hellow guys i need to you help and write me on mail. Me and my ex had been together about 3 years. When we broke up i understand that she liked another guy, i did many shits after dis even i wanted to get a pain with myself. I begged her i did everything but i lost confidence respect and everything. Now i have not contact but i really hard want it. I know that she is the one in my life but im guessing she has secretly contact with that fucking new guy. Even if she said that she has not now any flirts with someone and she is not planning. I dont trust her anymore. Pls help me im looking for a good way to get her back

  20. Wiz
    Wiz at |

    I just recently startes seeing my ex again.. After like 2 years. But now she has a boyfriend. But the sad thing is that he is in another town. Now , shes almost done with her programme in my town and it kills me thinking that once shes done, she just can’t wait to go back to the dude in the other town and i’m just wasting my time with her here because she chats an calls her boyfriend . I don’t know what to think . I don’t know what to do. Maybe i’ll just move on . But we’ve been kinda close i don’t know

  21. Anonymous
    Anonymous at |

    Am I missing something here? Why would anyone want Miss Crazypants back in their life? If you initiate no contact for the purpose of getting her back you may have a touch of cluster b yourself with this self deprecating, self defeating and self destructive behavior. I’ve gotten to the point where just looking at her picture makes me want to take a shower. If you have mutual friends and want to keep the peace and avoid triggering her abandonment issues use some reverse psychology. Go no contact, let her text you, send in the flying monkeys and all the other clowns. When it starts to get too much and you’re tired of dealing with the shit answer her text or phone call and lovebomb the shit out of her. Send her some sappy ass songs and she’ll make a run for the border (pun intended) like a stoner on Taco Tuesday. These people are like gum on the bottom of your shoe. They’ll never go away unless they think it’s their idea and if you’re trying to figure out a way to capture crazy you deserve what you get. They will never change The only thing worse than the one who got away is the one that won’t go away.

  22. Vin
    Vin at |

    Having a rough go. My ex gf were together 7 years. It was fantastic, same interests, best friends, you name it. The last year of relationship, I had lost my job since company closed down. So, my unemployment wasnt covering things and I just fell into a depression. She said I was more like a roommate and wasn’t doing what i needed to do to stop. Well, she broke up w me, crying on the phone. That she didnt feel the same attraction or being in love with me. Long story short, I bettered myself, changed things about me, for me, but also because I understood 100% what she wanted and the things that she looks for. I learned again what she is looking for. She has a new boyfriend, and shes starting to talk to me. She gets really upset if I tell her on went on a date. She said she will hang out w/me as friends. I agreed, but in reality my goal is to hang as friends more often, so she sees the change and treat it like someone new, who are friends with my hidden agenda of sorts
    1 thing though, after she hung up with me she put up a profile pic of her n new b/f, with hearts scattered around, most over her side than his side. Plus, all of a sudden shees been putting up pics of them together, but always standing apart from each other, or on each side of something, but never like “touching” each other, ie arms around each other, even mostly doing the “silly” face.
    What should my next steps be? Are those good signs? Hope you guys n gals can help bring my heart back who I love unconditionally
    Thanks, sorry this was long

    1. Andy
      Andy at |

      My wife left me three months ago after our six year marriage I had no idea she was going to leave me then one day she just said it wasn’t working and she wanted to be on her own I have since found out that she’s back with her ex that beat her up she left our beautiful home and me with nothing but debt she has since become a horrible person like someone I never knew all she did for six years was call this other bloke and say how much she hates him now she is in a relationship with him and I’m left devastated why has she done this to me


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