A guy doesn't usually start hitting his girlfriend out of the blue — it generally starts after a history of verbal and emotional abuse; cutting her down, telling her she's fat or ugly, chipping away at her sense of self worth. Typically, by the time the physical violence begins, her self-esteem is seriously damaged. When she doesn't value herself, it is more likely that she'll accept and put up with the physical abuse. Once her self-esteem has been broken down, it can be even harder for her to leave the relationship.

It's not easy being a guy these days. Society puts all kinds of pressure on boys, right from the day they're born. They are bombarded with messages from popular culture and sometimes from their families about how they should behave and what it means to be a man; real men don't cry; real men take charge; they must be tough, strong, breadwinners, know how to fight, never openly show affection for another male, play sports even when they are hurt... on and on and on. Some boys learn that being a real man means dominating or controlling their parner.