Starting Early: New Handbook Helps Parents Talk To Pre-Teens
About Healthy Relationships

Educational Booklet From Liz Claiborne's Women's Work® Guides Parents Through Conversations About Respect, Responsibility And Relationship Abuse

NEW YORK, NY - (July 13, 1998) - Eleven-year-old Dewayne giggles when his buddies refer to the girls in their class as "bitches," but deep down it makes him uncomfortable. Thirteen-year-old Sarah feels conflicted about the kiss she gave to Tyler after he bought her a soda. He did buy her something, so does she owe him a kiss she wonders? Twelve-year-old Max sighs when he boots up his e-mail-it's filled with 15 mean-spirited messages from a girl at school who claims she "likes" him.

Parents of pre-teens are recognizing that despite the fact that they too were pre-teens, their children's lives are very different. Regardless, parents are the mentors of their children and the Liz Claiborne Inc. Women's Work program has produced a tool to help parents lay the foundation for their children's lifelong decision-making patterns focusing on the development of healthy relationships.

The free booklet, "A Parent's Handbook: How to Talk To Your Children About Developing Healthy Relationships," was written in collaboration with Dr. Richard Gallagher, Director of the Parenting Institute of New York University's Child Study Center in New York City. Available beginning in October by calling 1-800-449-STOP (7867), the 17-page guide offers straightforward advice to help parents steer their children into positive and fulfilling peer and dating relationships.

"A Parent's Handbook" is the latest initiative from Liz Claiborne Inc.'s Women's Work program to focus on domestic violence. Previous campaigns have been directed at increasing general awareness of the issue, as well as individual campaigns targeting men. By directing messages to parents in 1998, the Company hopes to help break the cycle of violence by educating the next generation of men and women.

"We know that pre-adolescents are extremely sensitive and impressionable. At 10-13 years old, kids are moving from childhood to young adulthood and they are beginning to base their psychological and social behavior on the adults in their lives," explains Dr. Gallagher. "Similar to the way that babies mimic their parents' physical actions, pre-teens will adopt the social attitudes of their parents. Therefore, parents can have a tremendous influence on teenage dating relationships and later adult interactions."

How To Talk With Your Children

Children receive their behavioral cues from so many sources these days-television, movies, music, the Internet, the playground-that it's hard for kids to filter out the positive from the negative. Liz Claiborne Inc. commissioned Dr. Gallagher to develop this handbook to assist parents in dealing with the often tough and confusing realities of what children are exposed to in today's society. The fact remains that relationship violence happens in all social classes, all races and all cultures: relationship violence doesn't discriminate.

The handbook provides definitions of "healthy" relationships vs. "unhealthy" relationships and what they mean specifically for a boy or girl. Also featured are "Ten Tips" for raising children to have successful relationships, including discussions about dating before it starts, keeping the lines of communication open no matter what the consequences, and what to do when relationships become unhealthy.

To further the dialogue between parents and kids, "A Parent's Handbook" includes user-friendly tools to start conversations and gauge values, such as an interactive quiz to determine where kids and their parents agree or disagree on beliefs, a "Question & Answer" section with real-life scenarios to explore together, and a resource guide for parents in search of books, hotlines and social services.

"A Parent's Handbook" walks parents through six guiding principles to follow when talking to kids about all types of important issues including intimate relationships and high risk actions such as drug and alcohol use:

1. Keep an open environment-be available to listen to your children.
2. Give your undivided attention-sit down one-on-one with your child and listen.
3. For important topics, start the talk-kids want to hear from parents.
4. Talk to kids on their level, respecting their intelligence. Don't condescend or use too many analogies.
5. With important topics, talk often. Reinforce values and keep channels open.
6. Understand the real questions being asked and give honest answers. Pre-teens want you to cut through the double-talk.